Childhood dreams that never came true.

When I was younger I had formed some childhood dreams that never came to be. 

I dreamed of being a house wife with 2 kids and a house with a white picket fence.. although now it would be a large wrought iron fence to keep the crazies out. 

I wanted a front porch that my "hubby" and I would sit on during the evening and watch the sun set before heading off to bed. 

I wanted to have a son first and then a daughter and a couple pups and cats running around with the children.

I wanted to be a writer and publish the novels that ran around in my head. I literally have at least 4 going in there right now. At night I pick one and work it out story wise until I fall asleep. A few of these novels come to me from dreams or past memories. I have so many amazing dreams that I feel the need to create stories from them at time's.

My current life at the moment is complete opposite of that childhood dream. There is no house, no hubby and no kids. There is only me sitting alone in my bedroom while my brother sleeps across the hall and my mom lays downstairs watching the blaring tv. 

I don't have the house, the hubby or the children and I'm actually OK with that. 

I know this sounds pathetic, but I don't really need them as I am content to be by myself.

 

I need to learn to love myself and care for myself better. 

I need to learn to live for myself and not solely for other's. 

I need to learn to let shit go that doesn't serve my best interests. 

I need to learn to dream again.

I do write though so I do have that.